When [Broken Hearts] Prevail…

Fair warning, people…this post is probably going to be a little emo and sad.  :’(  So, have your tissues ready!

Yep...I'm probably going to die alone.

So, where to begin…in writing, it is always so hard to find a good beginning.  I guess this beginning could “begin with an ending” in a sense.  You see, sometime this month my ex and I will be filling out and signing our divorce papers.  Yep.  We’re taking our obvious failure of a marriage and slamming the “FAIL” rubber stamp on it officially.  So, that is going to be tough.  I still hurt a lot and get upset a lot when I think about it.

In other news, I’ve been looking at dating on some of the dating websites out there and I’ve got to say that it is pretty depressing.  I thought I took my time and set up a pretty good profile.  My pictures were the best I had of myself.  I’m really trying, right?  So, why is it that I’ve only had a handful of girls contact me?  I’ve had dates with two girls who were nice and who I’d like to get to know more, but after one date with me they haven’t been too eager.    Yep.  Evidently, I suck at life.  I just don’t understand what is so wrong with me.  I’m polite.  I bring flowers.  I pay.  I make conversation.  I make sure I smell good.  Yeah, I can be a tad shy and I’m not a fricking male model with a perfect body…but I always thought girls were supposed to be able to see beyond that.

Maybe people can look at me and see that I’m practically dead inside or something?  *sigh*  I mean, I work full-time as a computer technician.  I take care of my home, my child, my dog, and myself.  No, I don’t get out a lot because I’ve got a lot of responsibility.  I chose to make my son the top priority in my life when my marriage failed.  I thought that women admired a man stepping up like that.  I know I am a good person and not just a total jerk or dud.  My coworkers like me.  Yeah, my light has faded a bit and I’ve been hurt really bad by two women.  But I’m doing my best…I really am trying.  Maybe I’m trying too hard?  Maybe I’m sad, lonely, and I reek of desperation?  I don’t know.  I don’t get it.

Is it time for the self-proclaimed "chick magnet" to throw in the towel and admit defeat?

Is it so bad to just not want to be alone and to want to find somebody like me out there?  Do girls just see my mug and think, “My God, how dare that ugly oaf even send me a message?”  All in all, it is more than a little depressing.  But I will continue on and try to believe that there must be somebody out there who is perfect for me…any advice on dating and life would be appreciated, though.  Ciao.

Dippin’ Dots: Ice Cream of the Future

This is something I wrote in response to this article:

“After reading your article, it makes me wonder…have you really tried the product you are slandering? I think that if you had then you would probably not speak so negatively about it (unless you did, by chance, try one of Dippin’ Dots knock off competitors like Mini Melts or Itti Bitz – they are worthless and cheaper for a reason).

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that you’re taking a cheap jab at a slogan that was created in 1988 as a sales tool. Yeah, they had the same slogan for a long time. Haha. Hilarious. You’ve done a wonderful job in pointing out the obvious. You get a gold star. (Sorry. Where are my manners?)

The point of the slogan was that Dippin’ Dots was taking a tired idea that had been created and eaten the same way for a long time and revolutionizing it into something fun and creative. Dippin’ Dots isn’t just ice cream…it is ice cream that seems to emphasize breaking the rule of “not playing with your food.” It is a family treat that is aimed at kids much like traditional ice cream. But what fun is hand-scooped ice cream? You can buy that at Wal-Mart and take it home and eat it.

Also, note that Dippin’ Dots seems more expensive because (as Reilly pointed out before) because a larger volume of Dippin’ Dots can fit into a smaller bowl than a traditional ice cream because, whenever it is flash frozen the air is removed from the product. So, a traditional bowl of ice cream (if you were to remove the air from the product) would not fill the same space as a similar bowl of Dippin’ Dots. With Dippin’ Dots you get 100% ice cream made with high quality materials. That is another reason for the price. You can buy a knock off product for less but who knows what you’re putting into your body?

So, now that you know a bit more of the truth about Dippin’ Dots, maybe you won’t feel as strongly negative about the product? I suggest that you go find a Dippin’ Dots stand and give the product a shot. It is great. I have the opportunity to work where Dippin’ Dots are not difficult to come by and I will say that I am hooked.

Anyway, let me conclude by saying that I enjoyed reading your article – I even got a chuckle at the references to Super Mario Bros. 3, Sonny Bono, and Brooke Hogan. Although I agree with Bear Silber that Super Mario Bros. 3 is epic (and it is sort of the future of gaming as it has been re-released on both the Nintendo DS and the Wii due to its fame and large fan-base). Lastly, for somebody who is so strongly against supporting Dippin’ Dots, answer me this: Can over a million facebook fans be wrong that Dippin’ Dots is great? I don’t think so. Thanks.”

I just felt that this information was important to portray.  Dippin’ Dots is a great product and I think they deserve a little better informed representation than this guy was presenting.  Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this.

World of Warcraft Administration = Unfair, Biased, & Unjust!!!

Ah, World of Warcraft.  You have never let me down in the past.  One might even go so far as to say that you are the perfect MMORPG.  You’re fun.  Exciting.  Innovative.  Entertaining.  You succeed where every other MMORPG has failed.

Now, that being said…why hast thou forsaken me, World of Warcraft?  I’ll admit.  I had to quit you for a while.  I got married.  I had a kid.  Life got busy and I had to focus more on work, family, and real life.  But I told you that I would come back…couldn’t you wait for me?

You say I cheated?  I never cheated.  I never even touched you for the entire time I was away…so how could it have been me?

I spoke to Blizzard Technical Support today because I want to get back into World of Warcraft.  A buddy of mine wanted to “bring me out of retirement.”  I was so freaking stoked.  Until when I first tried to log back into my account only to find that it was permanently closed/banned.  Why?  Because, somehow, somebody using my account was caught cheating during my absence from the game.  How is this possible?  You tell me.  I wasn’t there.  I don’t know.

So, I say to the technical support representative (his name was Fabio), “Well, what can be done to reactivate it?”

His response is simply that he will send the account back to be reviewed for possible reactivation…but there is no guarantee.

I say, “Fabio…can’t you make something happen here?  I was the victim of an unfair and unjust crime!  Can’t anything be done.”

He proceeds to tell me that my account getting hacked is my fault/responsibility.  There is nothing he can do.  Fabio doesn’t care about my dilemma.  Blizzard doesn’t care about my dilemma.

I have a bad feeling that my account will not be reactivated.  Blizzard will not show kindness to somebody who has been there since the open beta before the game went live.  They will not give me back that which has been taken away.  And why…because I’m a victim…or because I was mistreated and abused…or maybe because they’re too busy counting their money?

As the following Penny Arcade comic shows, perhaps Blizzard simply can’t help themselves:

I am so upset, right now.  Has anybody else experienced these issues?  Does Blizzard not care about the gamers as they sit upon their throne not made of ice but of money?  Please, gamers, help  me to rise up and bring fairness, justice, and a caring attitude back to World of Warcraft.

---

Notice:  I am actually pretty impressed.  Blizzard – I take everything back that I said about World of Warcraft and Fabio.  They reviewed my account, found it had been hacked, and helped me take action to secure it and get back into the game.  Thanks, Blizzard.  You really are the best.

Empty Thoughts

I started to draw a comic tonight…after all, this entire blog began as a webcomic…but I can’t find it within myself – partly because I feel that I am so unskilled that I just feel like my attempting to draw a comic is a joke.  I don’t have real talent like a lot of other artists.  I simply enjoy comics and, like many fans, wish that I could give back to the world of that which I enjoy.  But, alas, I’m a talentless hack.

I’ve spent the majority of my life just passing through it.  I used to be so strong in my faith.  It used to give my life purpose.  Now, without it, I just feel like I wander aimlessly, sometimes.  No, it isn’t just my faith – I felt like this before.  It seems as though life could quite possibly be meaningless.  We have our basic needs:  We eat.  We sleep.  We find shelter.  We procreate to further the survival of the species.  There you go.  That is a great word for it:  We SURVIVE.  It has always seemed to me that life must have so much more to offer.

I feel this way a lot…this sense of loss and hopelessness.  I felt it even when I had my meager faith to cling to…it didn’t give me peace in this life but rather a sense of peace about after this life.  Should that be enough for me to just go through this life?  I have my family.  I have my career.  I have my hobbies.  Yet I still feel unfulfilled.  If I died today would I leave any type of mark on the world…or would I be forgotten?  If I died today would anyone cry for my loss?  Am I making a difference in this world?  Am I living a life worth living?

The answer is no.  I’m out of shape, lazy, and unmotivated.  So what can I do to make this life more worth living?  What gives people purpose?  Can other people keep that sense of purpose in this life without looking at the big picture (life and death) and feeling dread?  Does anybody else feel this way?  Is this simply the way it is?  I feel like we live in a world of sheep or cattle.  We go to work.  We clock in and clock out.  We eat our meals.  We go to sleep.  We do it again.  And, in between, we mindlessly tune out to television, video games, music, or whatever.

I believe Homer Simpson said it best when he said to Bart that he used to have dreams until the weight of the world crushed his spirit.  I was talking to my wife, today, and I told her how I thought it would be great to be a kid like our son Aiden.  He’s carefree.  He doesn’t watch clocks.  He doesn’t have anxiety.  His biggest worries include being fed, having his diaper changed, and playing with his toys.  Maybe it is just a disappointment to me that life seems like one long burden to be suffered until we inevitably break under the pressure and old age takes us back to that great beyond.

I almost feel guilty feeling the way I do.  I have a beautiful family.  My son is so precious and I would give anything for him.  I do have a lot to be thankful for.  Yet, still, I cannot help but feel that life wasn’t meant to be lived this way.  Or maybe there is no point to it all.  Don’t get me wrong – I still have my faith (along with a healthy dose of skepticism).  But no longer am I naive.  Perhaps man is both blessed and cursed to have the intelligence to allow us to ponder these thoughts and despair.

I would normally apologize for being so negative, but I’ve decided it is unnecessary.  I appreciate comments as it is good to know that, somehow, the ripple of thought that I put out there can cause other ripples in the ocean of life.  Please, share with me your philosophy or feel free to comment on my own.  Thanks.

Life With Hammy – Help Desk Stories

So, this is actually based on a true story…my co-worker storms into my office, today, demanding that I inform her how to “undo” an e-mail she sent to the wrong recipient with sensitive information.  I was like, “Uh…are you serious?”  And, of course, she was.  But I informed her that once you hit send…well, that’s the end.  It’s out there and you might as well e-mail the person you sent it to and say, “Oops.”    Anyways, I thought it was funny so I threw it in an e-mail.  I hope that Jamie won’t hold it against me that I used her here…sorry Jamie!  Enjoy.

Life With Hammy – Video Game Violence

Drew a new comic using one of my graphics tablets…not great, but I didn’t have a lot of time.  Sorry!  I will try to do better from now on…enjoy!

DigiPro T-6000U 6×4.5 USB Graphics Tablet Review

Okay, first of all, the price is unbeatable…honestly, less than $30 for a Graphics Tablet with wireless mouse and pen.  Not to mention that it came with a free 4×5 USB Graphics Tablet by DigiPro.  So, naturally when I see this deal on Geeks.com I jump on it.

Well…you know the saying, “It sounds too good to be true,”?  Well, this was one of those instances.  First of all, let me show you what I purchased:

DigiPro T-6000U 6×4.5 USB Graphics Tablet

DigiPro 5.5×4 USB Graphics Tablet with Cordless Pen (FREE with promo code DIGIPRO)

So, all in all, it looks like a great deal for around $35 plus shipping, right?  WRONG!  First of all, I’m going to focus on the actual product I purchased…the T-6000U.  Picture this:  The package arrives from FedEx.  I run in from work and begin gingerly ripping tape from cardboard in order to sink my teeth into my new toy.  I pull out the box for the T-6000U.  It looks pretty generic, which I expected, so I’m not upset yet.  I go into my office, install the software, and hook the bad boy up.  Now, the pen works pretty good (although it is a bit sluggish in Photoshop CS3) and is enjoyable to use for drawing for the most part.  I was disappointed to find that whenever you try to use the mouse that your pointer moves like a snail across your desktop – also, my left click button wouldn’t even freaking respond!  So, the thing was pretty much a generic piece of crapola…great, right?  Well, naturally after finding these problems I go to the Internet in search of consolation and new drivers/firmware/software for the device.  I search and I search.  After a while, frustrated as I am, I finally find a crucial little piece of information:  DigiPro is actually a company called UC Logic.  So, I thought, “Aha!  I’ve found them!”  So, I go searching their pages only to find that they claim not to make this particular device and send me back to Geeks.com for more info/software/support.  So, I contact Geeks.com to get no response even a week later.  Unsatisfied…you freaking bet I am.

The funniest part of all is that the smaller tablet, the white one with no mouse, works wonderfully and even has software support from the UC Logic page.  I am pretty happy with that tablet.  It works fine.  The only thing I would ask for is pressure sensitivity changes in the pen…but, honestly, it is by far a better product.

So, long story short…unless you’re desperate for a graphics tablet, save yourself some money and buy the smaller white one.  It is way better and actually supported by the company who made it.  Shame on you, Geeks.com, shame on you.

iDream of PB cRisPs

So, it’s been forever since I’ve blogged…yeah, sad, I know. Anyways, I got a new awesome job at a wonderful company called “Dippin Dots.” Never heard of them? Why, you’re kidding…they’re only the ice cream of the future! I’m doing Help Desk Technician work for them for the flavor of around $30,000.00 a year. Hellz yeah, baby!

In other news, I’ve been reminiscing about a candy/cookie type 0f snack that I used to eat when I was younger. I remember they weren’t cheap by my parents standards so I didn’t get them often…but, dang, they were so good. They were basically a graham type of cookie shell in the shape of a peanut shell. Inside them was a delicious peanut buttery sweetness that filled my heart with joy. Mmmmmm…oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to drool. Anyways, I did some research and found out that I wasn’t crazy in remembering this snack…it actually did exist. They were called PB Crisps and they were made by Planters. Don’t believe me…well, see for yourself in the video below!

If you remember these snacks like I do, then go here and sign the petition to bring them BACK!

more about “iDream of PB cRisPs“, posted with vodpod

Life With Hammy – I take my jokes very seriously. (AKA: Don’t Censor ME!!!)

So, this comic is actually a mixture of two things.  The joke is seriously a joke I thought up today and told my wife whilst we were shopping…and, like the poor sap in the panel with me, she shot it down.  I may have been tempted to smack her as though she were my beyotch, but I refrained because, not only do I love her, but she has the rare ability of making my life miserable if she so chooses to do so.  I don’t consider myself whipped…no.  I’m more of what I would call…cautious.  The wrath of a woman is something that is just horrible to feel and, honestly, not worth the trouble, usually.

Anyways, this comic is also a sign of how I don’t take criticism well.  So, next time I tell you a joke, just go ahead and laugh it up…not so much for me, but for your poor bicuspids and molars.  Consider their feelings.  Do you really think they would prefer to be seperated from your soft, pretty gums?  No, I don’t think they do.

- – - – -

So, in other news…I’m really, really tired.  We spent the entire day doing errands and such.  In fact, I haven’t gamed at all, today.  Yikes, right?  Not cool at all.  I’ve gone back and been playing through “Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth.”  It’s basically a gameplay version of H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Shadow Over Innsmouth,” with a few extra embellishments to make things more exciting.  It’s a fun, difficult game…the characters all look quite a bit alike, but still…who doesn’t enjoy a game where the horror and evil of the creatures is enough to drive your character to insanity and, possibly, suicide?

If you’re a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, then I definitely recommend the game.  You’ll find yourself enjoying being thrust into the fantastical world of his horror stories.  They are weird and while not altogether horrifying, they do get under your skin.  Plus, having fishmen chasing you is always terrifying.

Anyways, I’m off to bed for now.  Will try to post another tomorrow…

Life With Hammy – Chick Magnet Punk Rawker Totally Went There!

So…basically, this is the price of boredom, a love of punk rawk music, and me trying to “stretch” my artistic abilities.  I’m sad to say I’ve come to one unfortunate conclusion about my art…….I can’t draw women.  And, I mean, I’ve spent so much time observing them that you’d think that it’d be easy.  But it’s not.  I mean…you’ve got the curves and the hair and the curves and the eyes and the curves and the lips…did I mention the curves?    Although difficult to draw, they are one of the best parts of women if I do say so myself.

—–

In other news, today we went to our friend Andrea’s house to hang out for a little while.  She’s really Kristen’s friend and then she became my friend…yadda yadda yadda…long story short, I spent some time with her little girls.  They’re absolutely adorable, hilarious, and they’re teaching me how fun and difficult parenting will be.  I got to hold her youngest (who is too young to talk and walk but old enough to crawl).  It’s the first time I’d really ever held a baby before.  I hadn’t realized that until here lately.  But it was a good experience, nontheless.

As a reward for my time spent with her, she decided to go poo in her diaper and her mother forced me to watch to prepare me for the inevitable.  Needless to say, it was horrifying.  I can handle the poo being there…but the smell was quite rank.  Methinks that we will definitely be purchasing some air fresheners when the little guy gets here in December.

Speaking of Aiden, we got our first real “baby shower” gift, today.  My Uncle David & Aunt Kay sent us a package with a $75 gift card for Wal-Mart and a cute little outfit and some socks for Aiden.  So, if you guys happen upon this, THANKS SO MUCH!  It is nice to finally be receiving some things and to know that people out there care.

—–

Well, that’s that for tonight, I suppose.  Happy Fall Break to everyone out there experiencing some of that.