It is springtime in Western Kentucky. The flowers and the trees are in full bloom. It is raining one day and then it is sunny and bright then next. Tornadoes threaten one week. The beach seem to be calling the next. Kentucky doesn’t seem to follow any sort of pattern when it comes to weather. We have a saying in Kentucky that the weather is bipolar.
I came back across this blog recently and I decided it was worthwhile to trash the past posts. There was a lot of history posted on here…most of it having to do with my failed first marriage. I felt like it was time to start with a clean slate.
I would still like to use this blog to post some webcomics. I have to admit, though, that I know my artistic skills are extremely limited. So, these webcomics will be here just for my own amusement.
I’m having a really difficult time dealing with anxiety and depression here lately. It probably is not too surprising. I’m the only breadwinner in our family of five. And while I do okay on my own, it is not getting any easier to raise a family on a single income. Added to that is the fact that we’ve had a new baby in our family for the past year. I think that addition has been the most difficult of all. Our new baby has really taken a toll on our family.
One of the conclusions I come to when I consider everything going on in my life is this: we all just want somebody that will love us unconditionally and fully. I don’t mean someone who tolerates us. Sure, we need that. Because to some extent we either tolerate people or we isolate them. What the human heart and soul craves more than that is a love on a deeper plane. We want that someone special to look at us the way a dog looks at a piece of bacon. You can see the longing, the desire, and the desperation in that look. That look says, “I cannot live without you. Nothing else exists to me that is more meaningful than you.”
Maybe the dog example isn’t the greatest. I mean, the point still stands…who wouldn’t want to be looked at with such longing as to realize that you are unique and special among the billions of people around the world? We all want that kind of love. And where can we find it? I think some people do find that kind of love in the world. I do believe in soulmates. I believe we do have the ability to love others above ourselves…but it takes a very unselfish person to do so.
Perhaps, we find this love only truly in God’s ability to love us despite our faults. He will not forsake you. He will not abandon you. Even though at times it can feel like He is not near. I believe He stills hears us. We just have to be willing to reach out to Him and find Him.
This is all I have for now. More to come later. I’m pretty excited about starting this up again. I think it can help me in certain ways. I’ve always found writing to be a bit of a healing activity. And I could use some healing…